when you get the money, you get the power

Last night, despite the heavy rains drowning the city, I made the hike into the village to celebrate a friend's birthday. It was a joyous evening of much celebration where many imbibed upon the sweet nectar of Trappist monks, or as I like to call it... monk-juice. Even as the evening wore down and we prepared to depart home, I remained engulfed in the rapture of the evening. Feeling excessively optimistic of my credit limit, I offered to pay the entire bill on my credit card while collecting individual compensations in cash.

Well over a dozen party-goers were present so the bill accumulated to quite a princely sum. Regardless, as long as I received cash in return it was hardly a problem for me. Unfortunately, I also completely forgot that I did this, and thus the problem.

The next morning, confused as to how I got home and severely hung over, I opened my drawers to get dressed. As I opened my sock drawer, which happens to be the same drawer where I keep my wallet, I was shocked to find cash. Lots of cash. Hundreds of dollars in cash. My drawer was so filled with cash it looked like it came from a scene in Scarface.

After a brief moment of elation, my spirits suddenly sank. The joy of discovering a stockpile of cash was abruptly replaced by a bead of dread that dribbled down my spine. Here in front of me were hundreds of dollars in cash that I could not remember receiving and that I could not explain. What did I do to get this much cash?

Did I rob something or somebody? Did I make a hit? Did I buy and sell drugs? Did I sell myself? Quickly, I frantically searched through my clothing from last night, looking for blood stains and white powder. Nothing.

I began to call up my friends to figure out what may have happened. Paying the check with a credit card is not the most memorable part of an evening so I did not get many answers when I opened with the broad question, "what happened last night?" At least my friends were able to confirm that during the period we were together, I did not rob, steal, deal, or pimp myself. Phew, I suppose...

Eventually, it just came to me that maybe I just paid the bill in credit and collected (a shitload of) cash. This is something I tend to do to take advantage of my credit card points and I tend not to save receipts so I began to inquire about how the bill was paid. My friends answered immediately and my fears were quickly settled, but it certainly made for a very exciting morning.